Its been a week since I've started. Heres a re-cap.
Walked Thursday night from Chino, CA to Fontana CA. 18 miles, took about 7 hours.
I had my pack which weighed about 50 lbs. This was the first time in almost 6 years I had walked walked a significant distance with that amount of gear. Needless to say, I was not prepared. At about the 5 mile mark, it became apparent that wearing combat boots might have been a wrong decision. The wear and tear from Afghanistan had taken its toll on the boots, and now my left ankle was paying the price. Yet I pushed on, stubbornly showing myself that a break for rest was rarely needed (I was wrong). Once I got to my destination for the night, I collapsed on the floor of the room. Overexertion has the tendency to do more harm than good. Awkwardly crawling on hand and knee, I managed to change out of the sweat drenched clothing into a t-shirt and gym shorts. I slept 11 hours.
Realizing how unprepared you are brings the mind to a myriad of places. There are pleas for abandonment, orders for continuance and tales of failure. Ironic enough, what needed to happen was acceptance of help. Here I am trying to shed light on injustices that effect countless others, yet foolishly reject help that has been offered. This walk is more important than foolish pride, so I took my parents up on their offer to stay there and plan this out some more.
During this week I have been in contact with people genuinely concerned for my safety but excited of what the walk has in store for me. Ive received nothing but support from my family and friends, which saddens me for my initial despondence. The walls I put up after my discharge were an involuntary response to the feelings of abandonment, confusion, and distrust brought on by the militaries decision. Im excited this walk has been so therapeutic already, and I look forward to the upcoming steps I take tomorrow, and the others that follow.
On a sad, but necessary note:
I am extremely saddened but the events at Ft. Hood.
Upon hearing the news and subsequent shooter information, everything sounded all to familiar.
Let Me Be Clear, this was an extremely unfortunate event that should not have happened. My empathy stems from how similar our situations seem in regards to mental health care and the stigma that surrounds it. I keep hearing about how he "Only" spent 4 months in Iraq, as if to somehow negate the deployment of having any psychological effect. This sentiment is exactly why events like this keep happening. Its time people wake up from this perception of military machismo and realize the full price of war.
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